Sunday, October 30, 2005
which is the better way to train people to be independent?
to teach that person how to be independent or force that person to be independent?
---
i guess the latter is the most destructive yet most efficient way...
some things mayb reversible but definitely not trust. no matter how you make up for it, once lost, things will never be the same again...
---
mayb im not a good working partner. saturated.
---
i realised i have a special ability: i can smile no matter what im exactly feeling
::huIfaNg:: at 3:01 PM
Friday, October 28, 2005
....busy busy busy....
this 2 weeks since school started have been a busy busy busy one.....having to attend school, having to cope with tutorials...having to find project group mates....having to start on project....having to cope with scout troop n projects.....having to prepare for nyp singing competition which is my nyaa residential project.....lalala....the list goes down endlessly....wah sia! im petrified when i look at my calendar for the coming weeks to come till the next sem holiday! alamak!!!! haha....sooner or later huifang will get so busy that you need to look for me through my personal assistant...haha...who is she? i also duno...just crapping...
whosh...my clinical is starting soon...im posted to AWWA special school..haha...its in a super faraway place sia! but i believe the experience will be a great one...hee...im pretty fortunate...to be able to get pediatric for my first clinical...looking forward to it though the lecturers make it sounds pretty scary....haha
ya...i finally get to change my spec! its a copper half frame...haha....am a bit regretting it alr...coz i think it makes my face looks fatter....oh well...nvm...i bought my contact lens too....haha...so...ya...wasted my money....haha....stupid me...
kk...thats all...think the weekend and next week will be pretty happening for me! hee....lots of scout meetings(hm...not included in the fun category ba) and the venture cord hike and hopefully windsurfing(!!!) hee....till then...there's also an outing with nat n weixian tml evening!!!! haha...machiam a family outing!!!1 yay....kk....take care all my friends! =)
~dworrybhappy =(= go go jia youX!
::huIfaNg:: at 11:42 AM
Friday, October 21, 2005
sianz....i hate writing resume.....cant think of how to write about myself....i had thought of learning from meli to copy the stuff from testimonials but i find them not really like myself...arr...actually i think i have a poor self protrayal...i dont really know how im like to my friends and family...sometimes they will tell me a lot of traits in me that i didnt realise or dont even think so after observing myself...haha....
~sleepy
i feel like going back to the comfort of my bed, buried under the nice warm blanket and drift off to lalala land....haha....my dak rings are coming out...oh man...think i shouldnt adapt the "sleep at 10am wake up at 4am" schedule...im killing myself...
::huIfaNg:: at 8:53 PM
Thursday, October 20, 2005
haha....actually i've already type some stuff before i lose interest in what im typing and retype with new content now...haha...well, im someone who swings my interest hi n lo...easily lose interest but also easily excited. haha....its easy for me to lose focus but for some matters i think i will keep reminding myself to focus. thanks for the reminder.
well, i did a personality test yeaterday. when i was in sec4, i was an I person n now....i've become more of a S person. haha... anyway thats not the point here...haha...actually the whole point of typing this entry is to tell myself that i have to be more
understanding and i will be. =) there's a lot of times when i cannot fully understand a person's rationale for making certain decision or doing something but i have to respect them. they are in different situation and background and i cannot just view everyone from my own standing. yup yup! =)
to all my friends out there, whether u are in school, having exam in uni, under immense stress, working or stuck in ns, jia you jia you!!!! hee...
when the going gets tough, the tough gets going!!! i decided to put the phrase in orange coz orange represents the colour of the nice warmy SUN! hee...hopefully the sun can shine on you soon after the rain. but remember, you can MAKE the sun comes out, its just the determination and willpower...hm...are these two the same meaning? haha...duno...hee...nvm...just jia you jia you jia you!!!!! haha....i always love saying jia you coz i feel as though i have given others a moral booster though its seldom the case...haha....yay....a happy entry in the morning makes me happy to start a whole new day!! jia you jia you jia you!
::huIfaNg:: at 10:00 PM
woa....school has started and things are really really getting hectic...there's plenty of academic projects n tutorials to prepare....clinical experience seems rather scary...and exams will come soon....wooshh...sooner or later i will master the skills of sleeping lesser sia! no more piggy time for me...arr...im starting to miss holidays when i can sleep anytime that i want....haha...sleep sleep sleep...
haha...guess i almost broke my personal record yesterday by returning home at 4.50AM!!! haha..... and why did i get home so late on a school day??? its coz we have to plan the venture cord hike next week and recee!!! haha...its simply crazy....chung ming and i met charle and gim hui at a coffee shop at 8.30pm and stayed till the owner had to CHASE us away at 11++pm...haha...we kept joking that we were some brave terrorists who planned their attacks openly in public, with wide opened map, discussion and plotting of checkpoints across the island...haha...we formally started our recee at 12AM! haha....how exciting...its the first time i did my recee so "EARLY" haha....well...we covered almost half of singapore in the whole night sia! some checkpoints are pretty interesting. haha....i felt more like a terrorist when we started taking photos of our checkpoints...haha...i think onlookers would think the whole car is loaded with crazy people, i mean who would take photo of roadside building and go to ulu places at 1-5AM?? haha...we went to my favorite place and reused some of my previous hike checkpoints. going back to those checkpoints revived memories of my hike last year. hee...
its pretty stressful when we were travelling in the car coz we had to constantly orientate and direct chung ming where to go to...and imagine u are doing such mental torturing work at 1-4am?!?! haha....by the time we reached the last few checkpoints, we almost died,....haha...some were already dozing away in the car...of course, everyone except the driver la! haha....n we kept talking about where to get food but in the end we didnt stop for food coz there's simply no time. we only settled down for some snacks when chung ming drives into shell to top up fuel...that moment was heavenly...hee...orhh....and chung ming saw some "dirty" stuff yesterday...had it not been 4.15AM, i would have agreed with gim hui to turn back and verify....haha...yup!
hm...think i shall just end off here...haha....a bit brain dead le...tata
::huIfaNg:: at 9:30 AM
Monday, October 17, 2005
yay....my mum agreed to a bike so few weeks later after kenny got the parts together i can go cycling around my neighbourhood! yay!!! hee....
well school is starting tml...a part of me is dreading it while a part of me ask me to stay positive and look forward...looking back, this is the coolest holiday i ever had...totally academic free and we have the time to recuperate from sch and have fun! hee....what i did: learn windsurfing and tennis, blading, badminton, jogging, reading, pool, projects, gatherings, camps, scouts scouts n more scouting and definitely plenty of slacking time...haha...its all because of the slacking times that got me too pampered to want to wake up early in the morning to go to school and attend lectures and tutorials again...haha...but then again i have to attend school so case closed. i went to jot down all the exam dates n stuff in my calendar and realised things are super packed. there are endless projects and exams n sch work to cope with....man oh man, really have to plan my time well.
---
sometimes i feel very powerless and silly when i seem to be putting in more time n effort than the others. i try to convince myself that i cannot impose my own expectation on others as everyone has different thinkings and interest and commitment...but overtime it gets tiring....really tiring and gradually disheartening. sometimes i worry that its my overenthusiasm that dampen their initiative. sometimes i worry im overpowering. sometimes im pissed. sub consciously the trust and reliance drain away...or am i not understanding enough? guess it all boils down to "i dont noe wat i wan" i duno what kind of assistance i need, i duno how to express my emotions and i duno how to carry on...
to me, i can easily trust a person but once u lose that trust it's hard to regain it. if im biased against a person, it'll definitely stay for some time, either consciously or sub consciously. i will get unhappy with that person easily and every unhappiness may linked back to previous unhappiness and thus be magnified. mayb im a petty person.
~just feeling very grumpy with myself~ maybe its the pre-school syndrome...ha...
::huIfaNg:: at 5:29 AM
Friday, October 14, 2005
hee....i feel so excited now...haha...kenny gona sell me his 1k bike for $200 plus...yay...sounds like really really a good good deal...haha...n he gona change some parts for me...yay...n soon i can go cycling...oh man....hm..where shall i go? the biking trail near my place which i think will be linked to bukit timah bike trail...dairy farm trail....little guilin....the park connectors...what else? haha...i have this crazy idea mayb i can cycle all the way to ecp then start blading...haha....it'll be cool n total leg work out sia! haha..... man...hopefully i can dig a place in my house to store the bike soon...i wouldnt mind sleeping under my bed with my bike on my bed...haha...but i think my mum will mind! haha....man...im going crazy with the idea of owning a bike...haha...its a silver bike sia....sld be a cool bike...hahaa....yay....
ok...enough of my bike craze...haha...i went for clementi district council today n got myself a cip project....thinking of doing something related to the green efforts...haha...since i just pick up a new interest in naturecraft and making crafts using recycled materials...im thinking of doing a event where students will learn the skills, make their products and sell them during a carnival. hee....sounds pretty interesting to me...but duno if it'll work.
anyway steve asked me today, "huifang ar....are you still schooling? haha...how come u seem like a full time scout? either that i see you at scout events or we will be talking abt scout stuff..." haha...oops...n that draws me back to the reality that sch is starting soon!!!! die...wont have so much free time for leisure n definitely scouts...haha...have to start planning n working around with time.
actually sometimes i feel that we have to learn to cope with stuff and know your limits. if you really cant commit then say no. but if you know abt something way before time n its possible, why not accept it n start working on it so that everything wont be so cramped up? but then again...it seems like human nature to procrastinate...haha...laziness always sinks in....oops...hee...have to master "
determination, discipline and commitment"...haha...and that will start with my regular exercise. it may seems easy but actually it takes a lot of those qualities mentioned to do it regularly...haha...hopefully i can slowly master it....i need to...=)
::huIfaNg:: at 3:08 PM
Thursday, October 13, 2005
yay!! i finally finished designing my sweet little blog....heee....spend the whole of last night from 10pm to 3am just to get the tagboard up and also to put it in place...but somehow my baby photo doesnt like noise i guess, it simply refuse to coexist with the tagboard(to put it simply, the baby photo disppear when the tagboard is up), when i finally got them to cooperate and live harmoniously together, they got so close that i cant separate the tagboard to put it in desired position....so i continued this morning n i finally got it done!!!! yay!!!!! so happy....heee....tagboard is fun! hee...but im still trying to figure out out to put music in my blog. anyone out here can help me? hee...im planning to put the song, journey by corrinne may on my blog...its such a wonderful song!!!! hee
hee....think i've fallen in love with white recently thus my whole blog is white! i've always wanted to have something simple and pure and i guess the baby and the white background really protray what i wanted so yup... i think this blog is totally awesome!!! okok....enough of the excitement of a new blog...haha....yup....guess i did a good blog warming job....hee....shall stop here now....tata
::huIfaNg:: at 5:38 AM
