Friday, June 15, 2007
random thots....
sometimes i wonder whats the point of holding onto something when your heart is longer there, when faith diminish, when you no longer find meaning in it. maybe im just too focused on finding meaning to sustaintiate what im doing, but this senseless way of letting each day pass is really getting on my nerves.
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sometimes im stuck in the gray area. i know not if its my bias that has clouded the friendship or has the foundation been weak all along. tired of pondering over whats the root of the prob. just allow me to escape from this dilemma. sorry for my incapacity to be a good friend.
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do i not dare to take up the challenge or am i really drained from taking on the forefront? perhaps all is an excuse to my incapacity. deep down inside, i do feel a tingling desire to explore the possibility, but my mind forbid such dangerous desire. it reminded me of the past scars and the present consequence. perhaps the trauma was exaggerated but i do know i do not want repetition.
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the lovely breath of holiday has been overwhelmed by the tension of facing deadlines and exams. yr3 is really no joke. tension's raising and human nature's surfacing? i shivered at the thought of "competition of the fittest". is it really that case? i just hope to finish school with satisfaction and happy friendship.
::huIfaNg:: at 10:28 AM
Saturday, May 19, 2007
oh MAN its the weekend!!!! its finally HERE! im LOVING it................
diaO haha....why the excitement? simply coz weekend=free from journal, free from project discussion, free from endless of lessons that i cant understand!!! hahaha.....yes...this is the life of a year 3 OT student...eveeryday will be packed with proj discussion till perhaps earliest 6pm? and the most contradicting thing is i actually spent close to 12 hours in school yest when there is NO school....so what am i doing? PROJECt project AND MORE project o.O ok....enough of exaggeration...however, pls dun be misled that weekend= perfect relaxation coz i have the tons and piles and mountain high of READINGS to do for next week's endless project!!!! omg....these days all i can see is my good buddies A, B, C, D, E, F,.......ETC ETC dancing in front of me! this is mad! and its only the 5TH week of school!!!!
kk...enuff of rattling....well i did have a great morning to start the weekend!!! and im so energetic now!!! woohooo....hee...cycled to west coast cc at 8.15am in the morn to meet some of the ventures. the journey was pretty bad as i didnt have breakfast...kinda struggling esp with the cars zooming past and i think my gears wearing out(?!?!?) nvm...i came to a t-junction and the traffic light was spoilt! it took me 5 minutes to realise as i saw all the cars moving in ALL 4 DIRECTIONS! its pretty interesting...hahah...rare sight in an orderly singapore...hahaha...in the end i had to pick on every opportunity to cross the road bit by bit...scary man!
had breakfast in the CC before embarking on my journey. while i was on the usual boring route home, i cycled past the park connector in clementi and *tada* the adventurous fuel lit up and there i went to explore the connectors with no slightest idea where it would lead to! hahaha....it was a great peaceful simple naturalistic path. surprisely clementi jurong areas have v pretty birds!!! hee...so thrilled to see all the rare beauty flying around the trees. well, i went to the end of the park connector and just went i wanted to turn back, i caught sight of cyclists coming over from the other side of the canal! hee...not willing to end the adventure, i waited for the cyclists to cross over and asked if there's a proper route at the other side of the canal...and boy was i lucky...coz there is! i continued my journey and today is the first time that i realise where the ruined railway track near RV is! haha...i had to cross the track and its really scary! its juz the track with some straight metal strips at the sides as the pavement and most importantly, when u looked thr the gap all you see is perhaps 3-4 storey height above the water! imagine if my bike got stuck or i lost my footing...i would have appeared in the news tml...o.O anyway i treaded on the side pavement cautiously yet eagerly...haha....my small little adventure =) anyway its just more stretches of breezy lovely little ride down the remaining park connectors. got "lost" in jurong area as a part of the park connector was closed for repair...figured the way out and finally reached home...
yup yup....im falling in love with cycling!! i guess the bike is the best present i have for my 21st bdae~ haha...sometimes perhaps i do have traits of a loner...im starting to love seeking adventure on my own =D
::huIfaNg:: at 11:55 AM
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
haiX im BORED....
BORED by school and endless pile of reading
BORED by somewhat busy yet not so busy life
BORED by the lack of passion in life
somehow something is lacking in my life
perhaps a spark
spark of passion in the things i do
its not that i dont like my lifestyle now
but i miss the kinda of feeling where i can immerse myself totally in the process
the drive and determination to work things out
the keeness and excitement to plan and execute things
perhaps the feeling of adrenaline rush when doing the project
it might be after numerous nights of midnight oils...it might be intensive chronic fatigue
but the smile will be there
the memories will be imprinted
the satisfaction surpass all disappointment or weariness
perhaps a simple example would be a team of hockey players training days and nights as a TEAM for the season. they motivated each other and pushed themselves and each other through each hell training. they might lose the season but the memories will always be imprinted.
perhaps i have never experience this intense feeling....
haix....facing all these notes and books after one month of holiday juz make me feel grumpy o.O i wan my holiday back!
sometimes i fret at the idea of becoming a clinican in a year's time looking at my dejected stage now.
::huIfaNg:: at 12:12 AM
